Melting Fat

I’m in Texas and it’s hot, very hot and so working out becomes a battle as the gas prices soar to eagle heights and the days grow hotter. Granted, when I drive, the windows are rolled down but that doesn’t put a dent into the driving honey must do to go to work, 7 miles one way 5 days a week. Unfortunately, he works for Wal-Mart and they’re not going to let him go just 4 days a week, I mean they act like that extra day is crucial. Trust me I know, it’s not going to be any different because they’re so fucking short handed because they’ve become one of the worst companies to work for. One of the idiot managers constantly tells them that Wal-Mart says if you’re not sweating, you’re not earning your money.

Since, this isn’t a rant about Wal-Mart, I’ll end there. Anyway, between needing gas to head to the gym and the heat for working at home. It has become a struggle, last night I waited till 10 PM to do my workout as I usually stay up till about 2 AM anyways, I knew it wouldn’t affect my sleeping.

I’m hoping either today’s number or yesterday’s number shows up on the scale Monday morning, one was 2.5 lbs lower and the other was 3.5 lbs earlier. I don’t know why this seems to be a theme with me, 2 lbs, 2 lbs and then .5 lb lost and then jumps to 3 to 6 lbs lost. Weird.

I mean I’m in ranges and not over on anything yet but I also know that I can’t each anything else with FAT in it for the day, I’m already sitting at 61 grams of my allowed 63 grams. So, I’m sticking to veggies and fat free cheese and milk.

So, right now I’m in the middle of my calorie ranges and I’m not going to complain because at least I didn’t go over today. I had originally told my boyfriend I didn’t want to get a job until I was 230 lbs and that being 24 lbs away but I’ve decided that I’m just going to apply for a part time job at a convenience store here. Maybe I can get hired on, I’d prefer to do part time right now anyway, just do that and concentrate on losing the weight and then next year figure out what I want to go to college for. I was going to go for dental hygeniest but it seems that there’s no schools for it here and that sucks because what I was reading about it - sounded really interesting to me. I might still pursue it, I may just have to leave Odessa to do so, I don’t know.

I’m hoping amongst all hopes that I hit 200 lbs by the end of the year, just 54 lbs away, a lot less than what I had started at which was 287.5. So, fingers are crossed.

And that to me is not acceptable, the 2 months previous to that was a 7 lb loss each month, so that’s 2 lbs under what I should be at and can do .

So, this next month will be more strict in the diet and more verbal of what I will and will not do when coming to the honey, he loves for me to go to fast food joints with him and wants me to eat as well. Not out of trying to sabotage my efforts but he feels weird because I’m not eating. I’d much rather be sleeping a midnight than sucking down a chocolate shake. He works nights so his odd eating habits are normal to him.

So, I expect to be 247.5 lbs come June 30th if not less than that, I’d like less but I expect it to be 247.5, nothing more will do.

I have exactly 7 weeks to lose 17 lbs, I mean I don’t have to but that’s a goal I had set up and that would put me at 50 lbs done with. So, the next 7 weeks is going to be balls to the wall ass kicking strictness, I’ll have a few days of relief but I intend to keep my calories in check at least 6 days out of every week. This week’s off day is Friday because that’s my boyfriend’s birthday and so I don’t know how that day will turn out, so I’m leaving that one as the “holy shit, that’s a lot of calories!” day.

As for weigh in today, I’m down .5 lbs.

But for the July 14th goal, I’d take 15 lbs because that would take me out of the 240’s and into the 230’s at least.

My mom had to be taken to the hospital yesterday because she dropped a huge piece of plywood on her foot and it start hurting her pretty good, it’s just a deep bruise so all is good but she had to be checked anyways because she’s diabetic and has neuropathy in both feet. So, I ended up going over on calories by a 1000. That sucks but I know that I’m working on a yard today which will kill a ton of calories and I know I have to eat lite today but then again, I have no choice, I feel stuffed right now.

I worked my arms pretty good yesterday, my triceps are especially feeling it, I made sure to work those pretty hard yesterday as those are the bad points on my arms.

I’ve also read somewhere that it’s alright to work your abs everyday providing you don’t do enough damage to those to require a day of rest between. I seem to agree with that because when I was working my abs the most back in late 2003 early 2004, my waist seemed to dwindle away but I hit a fucking plateau and I stopped like a jackass plus I really wasn’t eating right and that caused some problems too.

I should have at least kept the working out up but at least I’m working out now and enjoy it and I start to freak if I don’t get at least 3 workouts in in a week. I now pretty much have it programmed in my head that if I don’t work out at least 120 minutes in a given week, I’ll quit doing what I’m doing and backslide and man, I don’t want to do that for nothing. I don’t want this 32 lbs back, that’s a lot of weight to put back on even if it’s only a dent into what I need to lose.

It’s time to hit up the gym, I haven’t been able to make it in a while and that sucks, so today is the day! I’m going there to mainly strength train and I’ll do my cardio here most likely. This week I’m going easy on cardio, I may hit the elliptical for 15 minutes and that’s it.

I think it’s best when you throw a curve ball into your training so your body doesn’t know what to think, I mean I’ve pretty much been consistently been losing since I started this journey before this time around, I would have already hit a plateau that lasted longer than I could stand and I would have already quit.

I want to reach 212 lbs by October 27th if not sooner, I want to see this happen because damn it, I am so done being the fat girl! I’m just tired of being tired, tired of having a hard time shopping for clothes, I’m just tired of it. I’m done with it, I’m done and I’m not going to stop working on getting this weight off till I hit my goal and then I will go into maintenance and I will keep the weight off. I will not be one of the fucking statistics. Believe that.

how many calories I burned running around the house and outside looking for my purse. THEN discovering my boyfriend yet again lift the lid open to his hair junk and caused it to drain all out onto my Metallica book! Granted, it’s both our faults, mine for having anything of mine near any of his crap and his for leaving EVERY thing opened!

I finally got my eyetoy workout in at around 8 PM, I wasn’t even paying attention the fact that it was almost time to wake the lid open person for work. I didn’t realize it till my mom called at 8:31 pm.
I did a short cardio session and then did some strength training because I’m beginning to wonder if I’ m losing muscle, I seem to be losing weight too easily .

Although I had a horrible week last week and barely exercised, I lost 1.5 lbs, I hope like hell it’s not muscle because that would suck balls if it was muscle I’m losing.

I also got one of those hand held body fat analyzer deals, it said 50% but for the scale, it says 42 %, so I’m going by the average of both which is 46%. Then again, I think the scale one is full of crap, I’ve lost 30 lbs but only 3 % body fat according to the scale. Which I guess is possible ( I know it’s not 100 % accurate ) because the scale really only measures the lower part of your body.

Anyways, by December if not sooner, I hope the handheld and the scale give a 10% lower number.

This week, I’m going to concentrate more on strength training than cardio, I’ll do light cardio.

I finally got to exercise, today I rode my bicycle for 10 minutes, did the gazelle for 7 minutes and did eyetoy for 23 minutes for a total calorie burn of 362 calories. I may do another 20 minutes of cardio today, just to shock my body from not working out for basically a week and then drop down to 40 minutes of cardio 4 to 6 days a week.

I’ve been over on calories basically everyday since Sunday and I went out to eat last night, I need to start learning to love to cook but I hate it so much but it’s so much healthier food when I do it.